So, life’s been a bit hard on you lately.
Believe me when I say, every single person that has ever crossed this earth has felt this at one point in their life. Life can be cruel sometimes, and it doesn’t always show mercy.
When you go through heartbreak, or you long for someone that’s been gone for what feels like ages. When you just feel so lonely that you can feel your heart physically hurt. When something awful happens and it almost feels like the end of the world.
When you feel yourself going backwards instead of forward, despite all of the effort you’ve put in. When you leave your apartment a mess because you have no energy to clean it. When you long for the old days when you were just a child roaming through nature with no worry in the world.
When you feel that you’ve been trying for so long and nothing feels to be working the way it should be. When your daily routine feels like a burden, when leaving your bed in the morning feels almost impossible. Because, you think to yourself, what’s even the point of getting up for yet another day of feeling awful and not accomplishing anything of importance?
What should I do when it feels like nothing’s going right?
A few days ago, I was in that mood. I took a moment to think about my life, and my world came crashing by. I felt so consumed by all that I had to do, both physically and mentally. I felt like no matter how hard I tried, nothing felt like it was happening how I planned for it to happen.
I thought to myself: I keep getting up every day, grateful for all that I have, but when will I get what I truly need? When will all this sorrow decide that it was finally time to let go of me?
And I felt so alone in all of this. Everyone I know is fighting their own battles, so how could I burden them with my problems even more? And besides, can really anyone, other than myself, help me? It was me, myself and my loneliness. A loneliness that didn’t seem like it was ever planning to part ways with me.
And it wasn’t like I was depressed or anything. I was still pushing, getting done what needs to get done. But I didn’t smile while doing it. I sat there, wishing for the day to be over already, even though it felt like it wasn’t planning to end. I almost felt like I was losing hope; for just a matter of seconds, I thought to myself: what if this pain never comes to an end? What if I’m destined to lead an unlucky life?
If you’ve been having similar thoughts, I want you to know that your mind hasn’t been truthful to you. It’s telling you that you’re never going to be okay, just like mine was telling me. It’s feeding you a lie, and an awful one at that. You are, in fact, going to be okay.
It’s been a few days now. Do I feel my best at this moment? Not even close. In fact, I’m writing this to you as well as to myself. Just like you, I can really use a good reminder that everything’s going to be okay at the end, even though it doesn’t feel like it will. That days like these are inevitable, but they always pass eventually. That what we need to do is get up and try again, and again and again.
Take notice of how far you’ve come
You might be looking at your pain like it’s never coming to an end. And I don’t exactly blame you.
You’re putting all this effort it, getting up every day and pushing hard in the face of your problems, in hopes of finding happiness one day. Yet you still find yourself getting hit by setback after setback, never getting close to where you want to be.
But here’s the thing: it might seem like you haven’t gone far, but that’s probably not true. If you look back at where you were a few years ago, or even a few months ago, you’ll probably find that you’re not where you used to be. You’re going up the stairs, one step at a time. Take a moment to reflect on and acknowledge how far you’ve come; don’t let it go unnoticed.
And hey: even if that’s not the case for you, there’s no need to worry. It’s never too late to stop and change directions. If you feel that you’re moving in the opposite of your dream life, here’s your sign to stop there. Don’t beat yourself over it; we’ve all let go of ourselves at some point, even without realizing it. Circumstances do not always work in our favor, but I guess obstacles are a part of life, aren’t they?
If I look back at my own life, I can tell you that I’ve definitely gone through long phases where I was not doing my best. Heck, I wasn’t even doing good. Do I miss those times? Definitely not.
I’m not here to tell you to romanticize life as it is, because it’s not always sunshine and rainbows. What I want to tell you though is that you have the power to handle anything that comes your way.
I was not having a good time a few years back. I was stuck in a rabbit hole, and I felt like I didn’t have the power to do anything about it. But then I realized that I do, actually. So I got out of my misery, which means you can too.
The road may be long, but the destination is worth it
There’s something you need to hear: you still have not lived all of your best days. In fact, you might have not even experienced much “great” days.
But if you keep pushing, you will get there one day. And I promise you: the destination is totally worth it.
Imagine a life where you’re spending your days doing what you’re passionate about, surrounded with the people you love, feeling happy and blessed and content. It feels so unobtainable, doesn’t it? Well, it’s not. You can, in fact, have that life. All the effort you’re putting in will not go in vain, and one day you’ll back at where you are now, and be proud of yourself for not having given up on your dream.
Here’s the deal: life tends to get better as you get better. Which means that if you start by taking proper care of yourself and your needs, your life will transform alongside it.
Don’t be afraid to start small; fixing your daily routine, paying attention to the food you’re eating, dedicating some time for your hobbies and passions, spending time with people that bring you happiness.
Once your physical and mental well-being are in check, that’s when you can start working toward your goals. You can’t pour from an empty cup, so take it easy on yourself and give yourself enough time to recharge.
Look for the good in everything, no matter how tiny it is
One very important thing I learned throughout all that I’ve been through: you can always find something to be grateful for. Even if it’s as small as the smell and taste of your coffee in the morning, or the sound of birds coming from your backyard trees.
The feel of sunshine on your face, walks through nature and the sight of flowers and bees.
The feel and warmth of clothes after washing and drying, the sound of rain outside when you’re cooped up inside.
The small moments of laughing with your co-workers, binge-watching your favorite show, listening to your favorite songs that you’ve forgotten about.
The cute little feet of kids, the taste of ice-cream in the back of your mouth, the sweet smell of books.
This world’s beauty is endless; you just have to give yourself permission to see it by toning down the gloomy little voice in the back of your mind that’s trying to convince you otherwise.
It’s totally okay to struggle and feel overwhelmed at times. I can’t really promise you a life free of pain, nobody can. You’re probably going to have similar days throughout your life, where you feel like nothing’s going right. But you can find peace in knowing that these days will eventually pass, hope in knowing that you’re going to have a myriad of wonderful happy days, and strength in knowing that you are capable of overcoming it all.
